A Kell-amity of Major Proportions

Ok, here's another post on RHONY, so if you don't watch, you can turn around now. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 dollars.


Kelly Bensimon is one of those ditsy girls that you hate. I can't even say "love to hate", because there is no love to be had. She really DOES live in her own world, to which no one is privy to and only makes sense to Kelly. She is so ridiculous in the things that she says, it's a wonder she can string a sentence together.


The underlying fact of the matter is that Kelly is very self-conscious. She is one of those models who wants everyone to like her (because that is all she knows; attention = love) that she tries so hard to "fit in" everywhere and be liked, but inevitably she TOTALLY misses the boat. I know that she loves to deny the following fact, but this season proves she is SO JEALOUS of Bethenny, she can't stand it. As much as she claims to hate Bethenny, and not care about her actions, Kelly truly spends most of her time "worrying" about Bethenny's actions and trying to turn everyone against her.


Hey Kelly, heads-up: IT'S NOT GONNA WORK!!! Bethenny is true, real people. You are a model living in your own make- believe fantasy world! So get over yourself!


If anyone needs proof that Kelly is crazy, look no further than the previous season of RHONY, especially the two episodes of "Scary Island". There, Kelly laid her psychotic behavior out for the world to see (and boy did we see it ). Let's recap shall we:

1) It's quite obvious this season that Kelly saw her chance to scoot in and try to replace Bethenny, in the friends category, and ran for it full steam ahead. This is MOST prevalent in her relationship with Jill and LuAnn. Last season, these two couldn't stand to be around Kelly and her double talk. This season, they are all besties. WTF?

When I can't stand to be around someone, I try to avoid them completely, especially when their conversation style is too confusing to follow. I don't invite said person to lunch and try to guide her in contributing to a conversation. I'm sorry, but a 41 year old woman, model or not, should be able to carry on a conversation and (here's the kicker) MAKE SENSE!!! Kelly, on the other hand cannot do either of these. Again, WTF?

2) Kelly & Playboy - So when Kelly first tells her new BFFs, LuAnn and Jill about her Playboy spread she says, "I was asked by Playboy to do their 40th anniversary cover and a 10 page story...they have a cover try but major interviews and everything, is me!" - UH, NO!!!
This comment is, as with everything that comes out of her mouth, all made up in Kelly's little head. I guess she didn't want to say, "I getting paid to take my clothes off" to her conservative new best friends, so she "created" a setting where it would be considered, ok and chic.

Here are the facts: Kelly was asked to be in Dec 09 issue of Playboy. This was pushed back to the Jan issue and then pushed again to the March issue, where it was finally published. The FIRST issue of Playboy, featuring Marilyn Monroe, was published in December 1953. Now I know Kelly is a bit ditsy, but even if she did come out in the Dec issue, do the math! That's 57 years of Playboy (which Jill busted her on in a later episode, and Kelly tried to weasel her way out). In any case, Playboy celebrated it's 40th anniversary issue in '94 with Marilyn on the cover again, and their 50th anniversary with the January 2004 issue with NO ONE on the cover!
It should also be pointed out that Kelly's "10 page story" in the magazine was actually a 6 page PICTORIAL - no story, no interview. She was NOT the centerfold, that was Kyra Milan. And the interview in that issue was the now "infamous" John Mayer interview about sleeping with Jessica Simpson. So anyway you slice it, Kelly is just a BIG FAT LIAR!

3)Kelly and fur - So we get it Kelly, you like to wear fur. When Bethenny was asked to do a PETA ad against wearing fur, you came out, of course on the opposite side saying, "PETA isn't saying, 'Don't wear fur'. They're saying, 'Don't abuse animals.' And so I'm not abusing animals, I'm just wearing fur." - Um, yeah, cause the last time I checked, skinning a mink to wear it's skin as fashion, was NOT abusive in any way. By the way Kelly, PETA's slogan says "animals are not ours to eat, WEAR, experiment on, or use for entertainment." So yes, they ARE, in fact saying, "Don't wear fur!"

4)Kelly and flirting - Basically, when I flirt with someone, it's about showing them that I am into them and getting them to eventually ask me out. However, in Kellyland, flirting means, getting the person to tell you how fabulous they think you are, as we saw in the vomit inducing "interview" with the journalist from Playboy.

Kelly starts with, "Oh my goodness, you are the most handsome journalist I ever met in my life." Ok, we get it, you like him. Then she asked if he saw the shoot. He says, "Yeah, fantastic. How do you think it went?" (Ok, we know he's seen you naked, before date number 1) Kelly responds with, "Well, you saw the pictures." (She is now obviously fishing for compliments when he JUST told her, he thought they were fantastic.) "Well, what do they look like I can't remember?", asks Kelly. (Probably because your head is filled up with so much air.) Again, he says, "They were fantastic." She then says, "Like what? What was I doing?" I HATE HATE HATE when girls do this. You already know you're gorgeous, and now you are fishing for compliments from someone who is supposed to be doing his job! Then she comes out with the clever comment of, "This [conversation] is an organic experience."

Organic? WHAT? The only thing "organic" about this experience is the sh!# coming out of your mouth. Stop the madness. To make matters even worse, when the guy finally does ask for her number, she's all surprise and gitty. "What? What? Are you, like, asking me out on a date?" - Uh, you posed for Playboy and he's already seen you naked? What guy WOULDN'T ask you out on a date? To put it plainly, he thinks you're an easy lay.

5) So Kelly calls a truce with Bethenny, but then comes out blazing at Alex's fashion show prep. So in an effort not to seem like a complete bitch Kelly "buries the hatchet" with Bethenny in Episode 4. Bethenny takes the apology and asked, "Ok, so we're not going to discuss last year anymore, right?" Good. Wave your white flags girls. Fast forward to episode 5, where Bethenny is discussing how she understands where Alex is coming with the Jill situation and Kelly goes on the defense again saying, "But that's what you did to me, last year when you called me Madonna? You attacked me. You were so unbelievably mean to me!" and then makes a "down there and up here" reference again. Bethenny not wanting to engage says, "Kelly, do you really want to rehash last year? Really?" To which Kelly exclaims, "YES!" - Uh, what happen to the truce? So at the end of the conversation another truce is made to which Kelly says that SHE wanted the arguing to be done. "I wasn't going to argue with her anymore, so I said it's OVER!" - Uh, first of all, no you didn't and secondly, you said that the first time and then called Bethenny out again. So is it really "OVER" now? Like a take two, or something. (Nope, it wasn't. The jealousy and animosity toward Bethenny continues throughout the season)